I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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