I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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