New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
