TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize