nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You made out with two different species that night
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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