wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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