Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
