this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
