I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
