Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
