We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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