All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
