the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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