So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
