I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
