drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
