I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
