And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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