That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize