So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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