it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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