The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
