I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
