my mouth tastes like poor choices
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
