would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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