I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
