somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
