His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
