i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
