Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
PANTIES FOUND
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