Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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