What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
