On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
