No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
