I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
