you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
