If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize