my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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