I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
