three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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