Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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