i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
