I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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