just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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