I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
