so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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