i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
