I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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