great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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