Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
