Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
