the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
