she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
tell me about the eggs
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