WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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