bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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