this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
