Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
