haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you would pick up someone in the library
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
