Pants 0. Shit 1.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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