i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We need to rekindle our bromance
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
