Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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