I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Umm I'm too high to move.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
