wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize