I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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